I was recently presenting to a group of Gen Z college students. In discussing challenges and barriers they face, one of them commented, “the older generation frowns on us.” While I have heard similar comments in the past, there was a deep sadness that struck me in this statement. Generational misunderstandings are not new, but today young people desperately need hope and encouragement. They need trusted leaders and mentors to believe in them and tell them so. Dr. Tim Allchin wrote an article titled The Power of Encouragement. In it he discusses benefits of encouragement. He explains that encouraging words create results that are positive. In my presentations, I often get the question, “aren’t we just catering to young people’s sense of entitlement when we give them encouragement instead of correction?” Dr. Allchin indicates, “Some might wonder the danger of speaking too much encouragement when they feel like criticism might have been more warranted. However, we never lose when we give sincere encouragement, even though other types of conversations are needed as well in healthy relationships. If we aren’t in a pattern of regular and sincere encouragement, other types of hard conversations will have a lesser impact, because we do not have a consistent track record of being an encourager. Encouragement is a more powerful motivator than criticism every day of the week…if our words are going to be valuable to others, we need to learn to be a wise reprover, one that reflects a balance of grace and truth with a combination of hope and help.” Relationships with a lot of criticism and little encouragement usually fail to bring great value. Dr. Allchin explains, “If you want to help others grow, practice encouragement ten times as often as you bring a word of correction.” We don’t lose by encouraging others, even if they are not ready to hear correction yet. Young people learn to trust those who are sincere and speak the truth in love. It takes courage to change, and one of the greatest gifts we can give a young person is the confidence that they can really grow, change, and make a positive impact. It is interesting to consider how different our families, organizations, and society would be if we were committed to encourage more than we criticize. As we head into the holiday season, one of the greatest gifts we can give the young people in our lives is that of encouragement; for them to know that we “smile” rather than “frown” on them. For more on the best gifts we can give Gen Z and Gen Alpha, check out this month’s episode of The Leading Tomorrow Podcast.
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Engaging multiple generations in any context can be challenging, but within established teams and organizations there can be unique barriers to effectively adapting to new expectations and needs. In these contexts, leaders need to be aware of their own mindsets toward younger employees, team members, and clients. It is also important to consider what assumptions we might be making that could result in confusion for those we are hoping to engage and equip. Steve Moore, President of Growing Leaders once said, “When institutional activities last more than one generation of leadership, the assumptions behind those activities become invisible to the current membership.” What is considered “self-evident” to most senior leaders may not be apparent to many new employees or participants. In this month's episode of The Leading Tomorrow Podcast, I talked with Doug Harrison, Director of Strategy and Innovation at Mission Aviation Fellowship. We identified several key mindsets and action steps critical for leaders and organizations in effectively engaging the next generation. These include the following:
The following is a guest contribution written by leadership coach Dr. Bethany Peters: Recent research shows us that coaching in the workplace has significant benefits: employees who are coached can experience increased productivity, enhanced clarity, a boost in confidence, and improved communication skills, among other benefits. But what is coaching, exactly? Sir John Whitmore, a leading contributor to the coaching profession, defined it as a process of “unlocking people’s potential to maximize their own performance.” Coaching is distinctly different from other professions such as mentoring, consulting, and therapy. Although all of these are valuable sources of support, coaching employs a more facilitative approach to:
What value does a coach approach have for supporting the next generation? More than ever, an engaging relationship with a manager is vitally important to retaining young adults. When a manager takes an intentional, personalized approach to promote growth and development in the workplace, that style of leadership is much more likely to generate loyalty and commitment from members of Generation Y and Z. The coach approach appeals to young adults with its focus on:
A coach approach is grounded in trust-filled relationships and characterized by a commitment to:
If you are interested in leveling up your coaching skills, and learning how to take a coach approach in your specific setting, consider doing it with a group of other leaders and influencers… Six Weeks to a Coach Approach is an interactive, group coaching program launching this September, facilitated by leadership coach Dr. Bethany Peters. Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/theleadershipcoachinglab/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/bethany-d-peters/ Bradberry and Greaves, in their great little book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0 said the following: Of all the people we’ve studied at work, we have found that 90 percent of high performers are also high in EQ [emotional intelligence]. On the flip side, just 20 percent of low performers are high in EQ. People who develop their EQ tend to be successful on the job… [and] make more money-- an average of $29,000 more per year than people with low EQs. The link between EQ and earnings is so direct that every point increase in EQ adds $1,300 to an annual salary. While emotional intelligence--which includes skills like self-awareness, empathy, and relationship management--is emerging as critically important for leaders today, given the prevalence of technology, many young people are lacking in these skills. As we head into graduation season, many high school seniors and graduating college students are facing new challenges and opportunities which will require increased emotional intelligence. As leaders, teachers, parents, and mentors, we can encourage them to grow in these important skills that will benefit them for the rest of their lives. Here are a few ideas for helping the graduate in your life:
For more on students and emotional intelligence, check out this month’s episode of The Leading Tomorrow Podcast, where I chat with Gen Z high school graduate, Ariana Chaparro, about self-awareness and self-leadership. In the midst of what many are calling the "Great Resignation," record numbers of employees are leaving their jobs. In November 2021 alone, 4.5 million Americans quit their jobs. While there are a number of reasons for this trend, there are some steps leaders and managers can take to create a work environment that young adults find difficult to leave:
I am often asked how to remain motivated in leading young adults when they often leave an organization despite our best efforts. With this generation, we need to see every engagement as an investment into the future. Even if a young person moves on to another team or organization, they will take memories and lessons (good or bad) with them. May our legacy in the lives of the young people we work with be one of empowerment, wisdom, and encouragement. The Census Bureau reported that 48% of Generation Z is non-Caucasian. Today's youth and young adults represent the most diverse generation in our history. In addition, they live in a world of globalization and technology that connects us to diverse people in our communities and around the world. As we seek to engage the next generation in our ministries, workplaces, and communities, we must be leaders who value and embrace diversity, and who model effective multicultural leadership. This month, Charlotte Kassis and Bethany Peters joined me on The Leading Tomorrow Podcast to discuss tips and strategies for growing as multicultural leaders. Here are a couple of key takeaways from our discussion:
As we discussed multicultural leadership, Charlotte reminded us that it can be harmful to ignore differences that exist, to work alongside someone and not know their story. It is important to acknowledge diversity, appreciate it, and seek to understand the perspectives and stories of those who come from different backgrounds. It is also critical to ask ourselves, "Do my activities, interests, relationships, and learning pursuits show that I truly value diversity? How can I grow in this?" To hear the full discussion, check out this month's episode of The Leading Tomorrow Podcast wherever you listen to podcasts. May we continue to develop our cultural competency as we engage a diverse Generation Z! The following is an excerpt from my book, Daniel Generation. For special promotions on the English edition, Spanish edition, or audiobook, visit our website. One significant key to healthy relationships is emotional intelligence (EQ). This consists of understanding our own emotions and those of others. Developing emotional intelligence and soft skills—those people skills that help you succeed in today’s work environment—often requires more intentional effort than it did in the past. Due to the increasingly virtual nature of our interactions at home, school and work, we experience significantly fewer face-to-face interactions than did previous generations. While Millennials and Generation Z individuals are especially adept at communicating online, valuable intimacy gets lost in virtual communications. Quantified Impressions reported that the average adult today makes eye contact between 30 and 60 percent of the time in conversation. Emotional connection is built when eye contact is made during 60 to 70 percent of the conversation. When there is less eye contact, fewer connections are made. Virtual connections, while valuable, cannot replace the emotional connection and sense of wellbeing that occurs with eye contact, touch and physical presence. So, what can we do to grow ourselves and help others grow in their EQ? Self-awareness is the first element of good emotional intelligence. This involves incredible honesty, authenticity and humility. Without self-awareness, however, relationships usually stagnate. Here are a few tips to consider for pursuing healthy self-awareness:
The following is a guest article, written by Ariana Chaparro. Ariana is a recent high school graduate and is now taking a gap year before college to explore different career paths and interests. A few years ago, a friend of mine was going through a challenging situation. I knew about some of her struggles and wanted to share my thoughts and advice, but I was worried she wouldn't listen or would think I was judging her and turn me away. I truly cared about her and needed to find a way for her to see that. I knew she would only listen to me if she knew I was genuinely listening to her. Sometimes we're too quick to give our opinion, share our advice, or shut others down because we think they're wrong. Yes, sometimes the other person is wrong, or they do need our guidance, but there's a time and place for that. There are situations where we need to say something immediately, but other times we just need to listen, empathize, and try to understand where the other person is coming from. As time went on, my friend started to open up to me, and for a while I just listened. There were definitely moments I wanted to cut in and share my thoughts, but I waited. I learned that she did not need me to tell her the same advice that everyone was already giving her and opinions that others were already throwing at her. She needed someone to listen and honestly care about how she was feeling. She needed somebody to encourage her when no one else would. Eventually, she opened the door for my thoughts and advice, and she listened! She considered what I had to say because she knew I had the whole picture in mind, not just an outside view. Maybe you know someone going through a tough situation. Perhaps you have a friend who is living a lifestyle you think is wrong. Maybe you have a child who doesn't listen to what you say or fights back when you try to help. Take a step back. Look at the bigger picture. If you can’t see the whole situation or understand their point of view, ask them to show you. We cannot expect to reach someone when we don't really know where they are. It may take a while. It might be hard for others to open up because of things we've said before or past experiences with broken trust. There's a time and place for everything. Sometimes it's not the time or the place for us to speak, but to just listen. In a 2014 Ted Talk, David Brooks discussed two sets of values that we can pursue in our lives: resume virtues and eulogy virtues. Resume virtues are those accomplishments and capacities we can represent on a resume. Eulogy virtues are those characteristics and attitudes that are discussed in our eulogies. While most of us would agree that eulogy virtues are more important, we live in a culture that consistently affirms resume virtues. If we are not careful, as mentors, leaders, and parents, we too can affirm resume virtues over eulogy virtues in the lives of young people around us. Brooks described how the two sets of values, or sides of our nature, work by different logics. The external logic that drives resume virtues is economic; the internal logic that drives eulogy virtues is moral. Tim Elmore and Andrew McPeak, in their book Generation Z Unfiltered, summarize the attitudes of these two sets of values or selves. The resume virtues tend to be worldly, ambitious, innovative, curious about how things work, and focused on accomplishment and success. The eulogy virtues tend to be humble, good, strong, curious about why we are here, and focused on honoring others, love and redemption. In a world of standardized tests, social media posts, and a competitive global economy, it is easy to overemphasize those virtues that help get good grades, social media likes, and competitive job. As adults, we may unintentionally emphasize these virtues for Gen Z as we celebrate their resume virtues via our social media posts, and challenge or coach them regularly on school or work skills and accomplishments. Resume virtues are important, however, if they are overemphasized while eulogy virtues are underemphasized, we may find ourselves leading young people who lack internal motivation, a sense of moral direction, and empathy for others. Gen Z needs encouragement to think beyond resume virtues and consider eulogy virtues. As an individualistic generation, they need to be reflective and determine their personal values, something that does not often happen in our busy, noisy world. Elmore and McPeak offer several suggestions to consider as we encourage young people. First, have them write their own eulogy, identifying key values. Consider also writing yours and sharing it with the young person you are mentoring. Second, ask the young person to identify actions that reflect those values they have identified. Third, ask them to put the actions that have been identified into practice. Last, provide support and encouragement. What are ways that you currently encourage and affirm resume values in the lives of young people? Eulogy values? What are additional ways you could encourage the development of eulogy values? Self-awareness is critical for effective multigenerational teams and leadership. Without self-awareness, we may fail to understand how members of other generations are perceiving or relating to our words and actions. Researcher Dr. Tasha Eurich discusses two types of self-awareness. The first is internal self-awareness. This relates to how we see our “own values, passions, aspirations, fit with our environment, reactions (including thoughts, feelings, behaviors, strengths, and weaknesses), and impact on others.” Dr. Eurich and her team discovered that internal self-awareness is “associated with higher job and relationship satisfaction, personal and social control, and happiness; it is negatively related to anxiety, stress, and depression.” The second type of self-awareness identified by Dr. Eurich and her team is external self-awareness. This relates to understanding how other people view us, in terms of our values, passions, reactions and environment. Their research shows that people who know how others see them are more skilled at showing empathy and taking others’ perspectives. Bradberry and Greaves, in their book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, define self-awareness as the “ability to accurately perceive your own emotions in the moment and understand your tendencies across situations.” There are several ways to increase our self-awareness. The first is to reflect more. Take time to think about your words, actions, and decisions. Consider how others respond, or where you could have be more effective. While reflection is likely to reveal some areas where we need to change and grow, self-awareness is also about understanding how we are wired, what motivates and affects us. When we know these things, we can make decisions and choose opportunities that minimize our potential to respond poorly and maximize the positive impact of our strengths, gifts, and interests. A second step to increasing self-awareness is to take the time to understand ourselves better. Assessments, coaching, or journaling are a few tools that can help us with this. A third strategy to increasing self-awareness is actively requesting feedback and receiving it with gratitude and not defensiveness. There are many formal and informal ways to solicit feedback. One of my favorite growth strategies is to have reverse mentors who are older and younger than me. By requesting and graciously receiving their honest feedback on my behaviors, attitudes, and interactions, I can gain a deeper understanding of myself and how others perceive me. Bradberry and Greaves tell us that “self-awareness is a foundation skill; when you have it, self-awareness makes the other EQ skills much easier to use. As self-awareness increases, people’s satisfaction with life…skyrockets. Self-awareness is so important for job performance that 83 percent of people high in self-awareness are top performers.” Consider your own level of internal and external self-awareness. Where do you have the need to grow in your understanding of yourself and others? How can you engage someone older or younger than you as you seek to grow in your self-awareness? |
AuthorDr. Jolene Erlacher is a wife, mommy, author, speaker, college instructor and coffee drinker who is passionate about empowering the next generation of leaders for effective service! Archives
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