Communication styles can be rooted in the influence of the events, technology, and values present in the world around us while we were growing up. As a result, generational trends can influence communication preferences. However, it is critical to recognize that individual preferences often vary widely within any generational cohort. While there are some overarching generational trends, good communication requires tailoring your style to each person. How do you know what those preferences are? Ask individuals you work with how they prefer to engage and receive information. Discuss options that are available and see what works best for everyone.

If you are working on a multi-generational team, there may need to be some concession building around communication expectations, but doing so early on and with transparency can strengthen connections.

Here are a few other considerations for communicating across generations:

• Be Self Aware: Take the time to be self-reflective and think about your own communication preferences and blind spots. Be honest with your team and consider asking for their help.
• Be Willing to Learn: Challenge yourself to learn communication methods that are not as familiar or comfortable to you, but meaningful or convenient for others.
• Be Adaptable: Often people want the same things, but maybe they want those things communicated differently. When possible, adapt to different communication preferences. Consider opportunities to compromise to meet different preferences or needs. For example, you might engage on Slack or Teams throughout the day, but meet in person for important conversations.
• Talk About It! Whether with an individual or a team, talk about what each person values or prefers. Email? Face-to-face? Messaging? Zoom? While it is not always possible to cater to everyone’s preferred mode, agree on what will work in your context and seek to balance communication methods.

In the past 20-30 years, cultural and societal changes have been significant. The speed of change has accelerated, so has our access to watching change happening around the world. These are among the many reasons that the differences between older and younger generations today are more than a generation gap.

Here is one way to think about generational differences today. Imagine that the Silent (b. 1929-1945) and Baby Boomer (b. 1946-1964) generations were born into a blue room. Everything in the room was blue—the rules, the expectations, the work ethic and communication preferences, the values and perspectives.

​Then, Gen X (b. 1965-1980) came along and was also born into the blue room, but there was an open doorway where they could see into a green room beyond. While they are comfortable in the blue room, they also understand a lot that is green.

Millennials (b. 1981-1995) were born into the green room. However, like Gen X, they were next to an open doorway that allowed them to see into the blue room beyond. They too often understand elements of both rooms.

Then came Gen Z (b. 1996-2010) and Gen Alpha (b. 2011-). The youngest generations were born into the green room and the door to the blue room had closed. Objective truth, influence based on title or position, phones with cords, dial-up internet, in-person only learning and work, limited access to information, and many other “blue room” realities are things that many of them have never experienced. They may hear stories, have parents or grandparents who understand them, or even see glimpses of them in old movies or television shows, but “blue room” values and expectations are not something that is a part of their everyday experience.
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For those born into the “green room,” the world has been/felt chaotic and uncertain their entire lives. I often hear older leaders asking why young people are not interested in learning about “blue room” ways of doing things. The reality? They are usually just trying to survive in the green room, where few older, wiser mentors and teachers are willing to enter, listen, and learn to help them figure out what it looks like to live and lead well in a room where the rules and realities are “green.” We need more “blue room” leaders who are willing to step across the threshold, with “blue room” wisdom to help young people today navigate the challenges and opportunities in the “green room.” This requires sacrifice, humility, a willingness to listen and learn, and authentic care for the “green room” natives.
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For more on this topic, check out this month's episode of The Leading Tomorrow Podcast. 

As most organizations and companies now have four, in some cases even five, generations in the workplace, bridging the generation gap continues to be a critical need. This month, Vanessa Torres, a Gen Z corporate professional, joined me on the podcast to discuss what has been helpful for her in connecting across generations. A few of the key insights to emerge from our conversation are as follows:

• Show intentional interest in learning more about teammates and coworkers who are older and/or younger than yourself.
• Encourage collaboration where possible. Especially as many people are working remotely, we sometimes need to focus on connecting in person when possible.
• Get comfortable with discomfort. Be willing to experience some discomfort as you work to foster conversations and build understanding across generations.
• Consider providing specific opportunities for connection and mentorship across generations.

Consider how you are integrating these ideas into your own workplace. Are there ways you could do one or more of these more intentionally?
For more on this topic, check out this month's episode of The Leading Tomorrow Podcast. 

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, only about one-third of businesses survive to their 10th year. We are thrilled here at Leading Tomorrow to have celebrated this milestone this past month! For the rest of this year, we will be highlighting key resources, providing new content, and having special offers to say “thank you” to those of you who have supported and worked with us over the past decade! This month, I reviewed my current Top-10 Picks for Next Gen Resources (see below). I hope you find these helpful! You can also listen to me discuss key takeaways from each resource in this month’s episode of The Leading Tomorrow podcast.

Marching Off the Map by Tim Elmore and Andrew McPeak
This book was published in 2017 but continues to be my go-to resource for teaching and training strategies for Gen Z & Gen Alpha. My favorite is the EPIC model — experiential, participatory, image-rich, and connected (relational). This is how young people today learn best!

Zconomy: How Gen Z Will Change the Future of Business—and What to Do About It by Jason Dorsey & Denise Villa
This is the best book I have found on understanding the workplace expectations and needs of Gen Z. Practical strategies are presented for every step of onboarding a Gen Z team member, from recruiting, to training, to retention.

The Culture Translator by Axis
This weekly email on what is trending in culture and the lives of teens is gold. For example, did you know that in teen slang “Bop” means a really good song, “Cheugy” means awkward or cringey, and “Finna” means you are going to do something? Axis also has a podcast and many other resources for anyone wanting to understand the music, movies, shows and social media trends impacting today’s youth.

Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place by Andy Crouch and Amy Crouch
My favorite all-around resource on creating a family/home culture that helps manage technology in healthy ways. A great quote from the book states: “Technology is in its proper place only when we use it with intention and care. If there’s one thing I’ve discovered about technology, it’s that it doesn’t stay in its proper place on its own; much like my children’s toys and stuffed creatures and minor treasures, it finds its way underfoot all over the house and all over our lives. If we aren’t intentional and careful, we’ll end up with a quite extraordinary mess.” Another convicting quote: “An awful lot of children have been competing with their parents’ screens for attention their whole lives.”

Family Media Plan Tool by the American Academy of Pediatrics
This tool walks parents and other family members through a practical list of questions to consider in creating a media plan for the young people in our lives. I appreciate how the template generates good considerations for how to help all of us manage our devices.

The Anxious Generation: How the Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness by Jonathan Haidt
This one was just released in March of 2024 and is already creating some powerful dialogue regarding how childhood has changed, what young people need, and how adults need to be intentional and unrelenting in creating environments for the next gen that counter the mental health epidemic and related challenges.

Kids’ Brains and Screens: A ScreenStrong Student Course by Melanie Hempe
Finally, a practical resource for educating and equipping young people to understand the impact of screens on their developing brains and lives. While most resources on technology speak to adults, this curriculum is designed for middle school students and presents information in a fun and engaging way. ScreenStrong has other resources as well.

Generations: The Real Differences Between Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Boomers, and Silents - and What They Mean for America’s Future by Jean Twenge
Dr. Jean Twenge is one of the most noted researchers on generational trends. In this, her latest book, she highlights key factors that contribute not only to the perspectives and behaviors of the youngest generations, but the trends that have impacted all of the living adult generations today.

Touch the World Youth & Young Adult Mission Training and Trips
Committed to equipping the next generation to live on mission every day, everywhere, Touch the World has some of the best training materials and programs out there for engaging Gen Z in missions. They offer in-person and online training, as well as short-term trips, internships, and a gap year program.

Gen SeXYZ: Love, Sexuality and Youth by Jeff Grenell
In the opening chapter, Grenell states: “One of the cultural realities of the Millennial and Gen Z sets is that they are living in a real and historic sexual revolution. Maybe the most staggering society-shifting tsunami to ever hit the shores of youth.” He continues to unpack the sexual revolution occurring today and offers practical strategies for anyone mentoring the next generation.

It is often noted today that our society and especially younger generations lack GRIT. So, what is GRIT? GRIT is a combination of passion and perseverance. It’s not necessarily strength, but rather the ability to persist in the face of challenges and setbacks, to always move forward. Sometimes, there are other words that are used interchangeably, like resilience, but GRIT and resilience are quite different. Resilience is the idea of learning from something, whereas GRIT is about continuing to move forward, no matter what. 

GRIT is not something that we’re given, it’s not an intelligence that we have, It’s not a talent we’re born with. It’s a mindset and a skill set that must be cultivated; it’s something that must be grown.

GRIT is a predicator of success, more than just natural ability. GRIT helps make long-term success happen. Embracing failure is key to developing this type of perseverance. Younger generations often need encouragement to view failure as a steppingstone to improvement.

So, what are some indicators that young people in our lives need to develop GRIT? Here are a few indicators to consider:
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1. Is a challenge, or anything related to it, being avoided? Sometimes, if it looks hard, sounds hard, then we don’t even attempt it. Sometimes people have called Gen Z lazy. If anything, that’s the complete opposite. Often, they’re very calculated, they’ll look at a situation and assess it so much more than perhaps other generations have. As a result, they often choose to avoid challenges or potential failure. When we see this occurring, we can offer encouragement to step into a challenge or try something difficult. We can also provide support through the process.
2. Is a young person in your life quick to give up, quitting sports, jobs, or hobbies very quickly? When this happens, we can encourage them to finish what they start. It is helpful to provide a listening ear where they can process emotions, frustrations, and recognize what can be learned through this situation. Asking good questions that help them reflect goes much further than just telling them what we think they need to understand.
3. Is there a lack of passion or interest in activities? We really want young people to explore many different things as early as possible to get them interested in different aspects of life. A lack of passion might be a warning sign that our kids need to develop GRIT. 

​Often, we can be prone to “rescue” young people around us from challenges or difficulties. We want to minimize their stress and struggle. However, offering consistent encouragement and support as they persist in working through challenges is a powerful gift that helps equip them to be successful.

Below is a list of resources with more insights and tips for encouraging GRIT in the young people we lead, teach, mentor and parent. The excerpt above is from my most recent podcast interview with James LaLonde. Check it out the full conversation on our website, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

A Growth Mindset for Teens by Sydney Sheppard
Executive Functioning Workbook for Teens
Grit for Kids by Lee David Daniels
Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth

One of my favorite quotes is from Maya Angelou: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

As we head into the holiday season, many of us will be spending quality time with family and friends. This is a chance to give the unforgettable gift of making those around us feel seen, heard, valued, and appreciated. Especially as we engage the young people in our lives, there is an opportunity to connect in ways that encourage them to persevere through struggles, anxieties, or disappointments. Many of them may just need to know that our family, our friendship, or our community is a place where they belong. Some may be feeling uncertain or scared and need encouragement to pursue a new opportunity or try something that feels daunting. I have found that sometimes even a short 10–15-minute conversation where someone feels heard and has a chance to process what they are thinking, can result in the encouragement and insight they need to take an important step.

The good news is that to have this type of impact, we do not need to possess extraordinary knowledge, experience, or expertise. We simply need to engage those around us with empathy, taking time to ask good questions, listen, and provide specific encouragement. However, this can be difficult because it can require intentionality and sacrifice.

Today, with the constant noise and distractions of social media, news feeds, podcasts, music and notifications, we often give things our partial attention. This can become a habit that inhibits our ability to listen fully to those with whom we are interacting.

Active listening requires sacrificing our desire to share our own thoughts and experiences, and discipline to ignore distractions and fully focus on the person in front of us. Here are a few other elements of active listening:

​• Ask good, open-ended questions.
• Focus your attention on the speaker. Make eye contact.
• Consider body language, facial expressions, tone, and emotions.
• Do not interrupt or assume a conclusion before the speaker has finished.
• Do not think about what you are going to say next.
• Listen to what they are saying and react without judgment.
• Reflect what you are hearing and ask clarifying questions.
• Provide specific encouragement and affirmation.
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Listening requires a lot of self-control as we prioritize the other person, their experience and feelings, and manage our own responses and reactions. However, the value of listening is significant. Businessman Nido Qubein offers a good reminder as we engage others this holiday season: “Listen twice as much as you talk, and others will hear twice as much of what you say.”

The demographics of the workplace are changing. The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics indicates that by 2031, Millennials and Gen Z will make up three fourths of the labor force in America, with Millennials currently the largest generational block in the workplace. As young employees begin their careers and new generations step into management and leadership roles, it is important to understand how to engage and motivate individuals across generations. 

Today, younger employees are more likely to want to interact with colleagues and leaders, to engage in discussion around important topics, and have permission to ask questions. Employees want to know they have a voice, that they belong and are valued in their organization. 

While fair compensation is important to all generations, younger employees are also motivated by their emotional needs being considered. Authentic relationships are important, as is understanding how different individual roles contribute to a greater purpose. 

Consider the following as you look to motivate different generations on your team:

• How does healthy dialogue occur regarding important topics and decisions? Are questions openly invited and engaged? Are there additional ways to do this on your team? 
• Do team members of all ages share thoughts and ideas with you, and the rest of the team? If not, consider how to intentionally communicate that everyone's voice and input are valued.  
• How does your team currently prioritize and communicate the value of authentic relationships and healthy team development? How could this be done more intentionally? 

Younger generations are growing up with unprecedented access to news, images, and information often portraying traumatic experiences and situations. In addition, they are connected 24/7 to friends and family members who may be struggling with trauma, mental health issues, or other concerns. The result is that many Gen Zers, in addition to experiencing trauma in their own lives, are coping with vicarious trauma. 
Vicarious or secondary trauma occurs when exposed to someone else's trauma--trauma you have not experienced yourself, but learned about from other people or sources. In the past, vicarious trauma was especially notable in professionals working in the medical field, counseling, social work, emergency services and similar fields. Today, however, the constant exposure to information can result in an increased risk of vicarious trauma for anyone, especially for young people who are still developing their understanding of the world, self awareness, and self management skills.

On this month's episode of The Leading Tomorrow podcast, I am joined by James LaLonde to discuss how we can help protect young people, and support them when they are experiencing the effects of vicarious trauma. Some of the strategies discussed include:

• Increasing our awareness and understanding of the young people in our lives
• Developing our own emotional intelligence (EQ) 
• Teaching young people skills to be self aware and alleviate stress
• Modeling healthy behaviors around technology use
• Encouraging professional help when needed
• Creating an environment in our homes, schools, and workplaces that promotes physical exercise, trying new activities, and developing healthy relationships

For more on this topic, consider reading one of the following resources: Childhood Disrupted by Nakazawa or The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. 

The oldest members of Gen Z (b. 1996-2010) are now young adults and many are looking for or starting new jobs. This is a generation that has carried smartphones in their back pocket since adolescence and they entered adulthood amid a pandemic. As a result, their expectations as they begin working with a team are often very different than previous generations.  Organizations and leaders that want to equip and retain young team members benefit from understanding and responding to their expectations and supporting their needs.  Dorsey and Villa's book, Zconomy: How Gen Z Will Change the Future of Business—and What to Do About It, offers some helpful insights on Gen Z in the workplace.

Here are a few quick ideas to consider as you onboard young team members:

• Connect before the first day of work; provide contact info for supervisor or mentor to help answer any questions.
• Introduce them to coworkers; have a team member or two take them out for coffee and give them tips on what to expect in their first few weeks.
• Communicate that you are happy they are there and that you care about them as an individual (consider a personalized gift on their desk like a favorite candy or coffee).
• Explain values of the organization and how their role contributes to the team’s mission (show values, don’t just tell).
• Offer a blend of short, video-based training courses and in-person interactions in the onboarding process (not a dense, printed training manual!).
• Pair with a colleague or mentor who can show them what job the looks like, answer questions, provide “insider” information, and offer support the first few months on the team. 

Gen Z employees bring creativity, pragmatism, and unique skills to the workplace. Effectively engaging them on your team and equipping them for success can help them make the greatest contribution.

Check on this month’s episode of The Leading Tomorrow podcast for more on effective ways to onboard new Gen Z team members.