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Gifts for Gen Z Graduates

5/5/2022

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Bradberry and Greaves, in their great little book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0 said the following:

     Of all the people we’ve studied at work, we have
     found that 90 percent of high performers are 
also 
     high in EQ [emotional intelligence]. On the flip
     side, just 20 percent of low performers are 
high
     in EQ.  People who develop their EQ tend to be
     successful on the job… [and] make more 
money--
     an average of $29,000 more per year than people
     with low EQs. The link between EQ 
and earnings is
     so direct that every point increase in EQ adds
     $1,300 to an annual salary.


While emotional intelligence--which includes skills like self-awareness, empathy, and relationship management--is emerging as critically important for leaders today, given the prevalence of technology, many young people are lacking in these skills. As we head into graduation season, many high school seniors and graduating college students are facing new challenges and opportunities which will require increased emotional intelligence. As leaders, teachers, parents, and mentors, we can encourage them to grow in these important skills that will benefit them for the rest of their lives. Here are a few ideas for helping the graduate in your life:
  • Schedule a breakfast or coffee date and just talk about the things that feel overwhelming to the student right now. Ask good open-ended questions. Listen actively. Help them identify strategies or determine goals that will help them thrive through the upcoming transitions in their lives.
  • Give them a resource that will help them grow in their self-awareness. Two of my favorite graduation gifts are Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and Clifton Strengths for Students. Both books have self-assessments that are great for Gen Z. Offer to meet with them to discuss their assessment after they have completed it.
  • Consider gifting the graduate in your life a coaching session. I enjoy using the IPSAT (Identity Profile Self Awareness Tool) when coaching college students, but there are many options available.

​For more on students and emotional intelligence, check out this month’s episode of The Leading Tomorrow Podcast, where I chat with Gen Z high school graduate, Ariana Chaparro, about self-awareness and self-leadership.

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What Do Young Adults Need from Leaders?

2/2/2022

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In the midst of what many are calling the "Great Resignation," record numbers of employees are leaving their jobs. In November 2021 alone, 4.5 million Americans quit their jobs. While there are a number of reasons for this trend, there are some steps leaders and managers can take to create a work environment that young adults find difficult to leave:​​
​
  • Invite the input of young adults on your team/in your organization. Ask for their ideas and insights on challenges, decisions, and opportunities. Express appreciation for their feedback, even if you are not able to incorporate it. 
  • Explain the "whys." In order to feel ownership of team or organizational goals, young adults need to understand decisions, priorities, and goals. It is important to explain these clearly and respond to their questions with transparency. 
  • Express appreciation. Young adults thrive on immediate feedback. Regularly express appreciation for their contributions to the team. In doing so, you earn the respect to also offer constructive feedback when needed. 
  • Smile. Young adults today often feel anxiety and stress as they are entering adulthood and the workforce in very uncertain times. Leaders express encouragement and create a positive work environment can alleviate stress and help young employees perform at their best.  

I am often asked how to remain motivated in leading young adults when they often leave an organization despite our best efforts. With this generation, we need to see every engagement as an investment into the future. Even if a young person moves on to another team or organization, they will take memories and lessons (good or bad) with them. May our legacy in the lives of the young people we work with be one of empowerment, wisdom, and encouragement.   

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Multicultural Leadership

12/1/2021

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The Census Bureau reported that 48% of Generation Z is non-Caucasian. Today's youth and young adults represent the most diverse generation in our history. In addition, they live in a world of globalization and technology that connects us to diverse people in our communities and around the world. As we seek to engage the next generation in our ministries, workplaces, and communities, we must be leaders who value and embrace diversity, and who model effective multicultural leadership. This month, Charlotte Kassis and Bethany Peters joined me on The Leading Tomorrow Podcast to discuss tips and strategies for growing as multicultural leaders. Here are a couple of key takeaways from our discussion: 
  • Cultural competency requires cultural humility. We don't know what we don't know; we need to start out by acknowledging that and adopt the posture of learner as we engage those around us
  • Cultural humility requires self awareness, understanding who you are, your cultural identity, and what has influenced you
  • Multicultural effectiveness requires active learning and engagement with those who are different than us in order to learn and grow in our understanding and empathy
The following are strategies that emerged from our discussion on developing our skills as multicultural leaders: 
  • Learn to identify your stereotypes, perspectives and biases
  • Activate your curiosity, genuine curiosity about other people's perspectives and beliefs 
  • Be an active learner and active listener; engage your learner skills through education, getting to know people and asking good questions
  • Practice good self awareness and self reflection 
  • Seek out relationships with those who are different from you
  • Actively engage the diversity in your community 

As we discussed multicultural leadership, Charlotte reminded us that it can be harmful to ignore differences that exist, to work alongside someone and not know their story. It is important to acknowledge diversity, appreciate it, and seek to understand the perspectives and stories of those who come from different backgrounds. It is also critical to ask ourselves, "Do my activities, interests, relationships, and learning pursuits show that I truly value diversity? How can I grow in this?" To hear the full discussion, check out this month's episode of The Leading Tomorrow Podcast wherever you listen to podcasts. 

May we continue to develop our cultural competency as we engage a diverse Generation Z!

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Building Meaningful Relationships

10/6/2021

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The following is an excerpt from my book, Daniel Generation. For special promotions on the English edition, Spanish edition, or audiobook, visit our website.
 
One significant key to healthy relationships is emotional intelligence (EQ). This consists of understanding our own emotions and those of others. Developing emotional intelligence and soft skills—those people skills that help you succeed in today’s work environment—often requires more intentional effort than it did in the past. Due to the increasingly virtual nature of our interactions at home, school and work, we experience significantly fewer face-to-face interactions than did previous generations. While Millennials and Generation Z individuals are especially adept at communicating online, valuable intimacy gets lost in virtual communications. Quantified Impressions reported that the average adult today makes eye contact between 30 and 60 percent of the time in conversation. Emotional connection is built when eye contact is made during 60 to 70 percent of the conversation. When there is less eye contact, fewer connections are made. Virtual connections, while valuable, cannot replace the emotional connection and sense of wellbeing that occurs with eye contact, touch and physical presence. So, what can we do to grow ourselves and help others grow in their EQ?
 
Self-awareness is the first element of good emotional intelligence. This involves incredible honesty, authenticity and humility. Without self-awareness, however, relationships usually stagnate. Here are a few tips to consider for pursuing healthy self-awareness:
  • Pay attention to your emotions. Watch how you respond to situations, and journal your emotions. Honestly acknowledge if you need help learning to manage them, and find that help.
  • Seek honest feedback from trusted family, friends and coworkers. Do not become defensive, angry or discouraged with what you hear. Graciously thank them for what they share, and request their help in improving areas of weakness.
  • Ask yourself why you respond the way you do, and understand the values and views that motivate your emotions. If needed, find help to identify emotional triggers and learn how to respond more effectively.
Once we begin to focus on self-awareness, we are better able to manage detrimental emotions. Self-management is critical to relationships and leadership. Zig Ziglar once said, “You must manage yourself before you can lead someone else.” Here are a few ways to work on managing powerful emotions:
  • Give yourself time and space before responding to an emotionally disturbing text, post or conversation or making a big decision. Pause and reflect, seek wise advice, or sleep on it.
  • Set aside time for reflection and problem solving. Our lives are so full of noise and distractions that it is easy to respond hastily and unwisely to people and situations.
  • Find someone who is skilled in managing their emotions and responding to others. Ask them to mentor you. Be open to what they tell you.   
As we work to understand and manage our own emotions, we must also increase our social or relational awareness and skills. Good friends and leaders pay attention to how others might be feeling so that they can respond appropriately. Social skills require constant intentionality throughout life as we engage different types of people in a variety of situations. Here are some good reminders regarding social skills:
  • Engage fully with the person/people with whom you are interacting. Make eye contact and smile; watch body language and facial expressions; remove distractions.
  • Practice the art of asking open-ended questions and active listening.
  • Build trust by showing you care, by taking feedback well, by gracefully tackling difficult conversations and by explaining your decisions and actions.
I encourage you to find resources to further develop your emotional intelligence no matter what level it is today. One great book to get started or to use with a young leader you are mentoring is Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Bradberry and Greaves.

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Can Your Advice Be Heard?

8/3/2021

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The following is a guest article, written by Ariana Chaparro. Ariana is a recent high school graduate and is now taking a gap year before college to explore different career paths and interests.  

A few years ago, a friend of mine was going through a challenging situation. I knew about some of her struggles and wanted to share my thoughts and advice, but I was worried she wouldn't listen or would think I was judging her and turn me away. I truly cared about her and needed to find a way for her to see that. I knew she would only listen to me if she knew I was genuinely listening to her. 

Sometimes we're too quick to give our opinion, share our advice, or shut others down because we think they're wrong. Yes, sometimes the other person is wrong, or they do need our guidance, but there's a time and place for that. There are situations where we need to say something immediately, but other times we just need to listen, empathize, and try to understand where the other person is coming from. 

As time went on, my friend started to open up to me, and for a while I just listened. There were definitely moments I wanted to cut in and share my thoughts, but I waited. I learned that she did not need me to tell her the same advice that everyone was already giving her and opinions that others were already throwing at her. She needed someone to listen and honestly care about how she was feeling. She needed somebody to encourage her when no one else would. Eventually, she opened the door for my thoughts and advice, and she listened! She considered what I had to say because she knew I had the whole picture in mind, not just an outside view.

Maybe you know someone going through a tough situation. Perhaps you have a friend who is living a lifestyle you think is wrong. Maybe you have a child who doesn't listen to what you say or fights back when you try to help. 

Take a step back. Look at the bigger picture. If you can’t see the whole situation or understand their point of view, ask them to show you. We cannot expect to reach someone when we don't really know where they are. It may take a while. It might be hard for others to open up because of things we've said before or past experiences with broken trust. There's a time and place for everything. Sometimes it's not the time or the place for us to speak, but to just listen.

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How to Encourage Moral Values in Gen Z

7/9/2021

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In a 2014 Ted Talk, David Brooks discussed two sets of values that we can pursue in our lives: resume virtues and eulogy virtues. Resume virtues are those accomplishments and capacities we can represent on a resume. Eulogy virtues are those characteristics and attitudes that are discussed in our eulogies. While most of us would agree that eulogy virtues are more important, we live in a culture that consistently affirms resume virtues. If we are not careful, as mentors, leaders, and parents, we too can affirm resume virtues over eulogy virtues in the lives of young people around us. 

Brooks described how the two sets of values, or sides of our n
ature, work by different logics. The external logic that drives resume virtues is economic; the internal logic that drives eulogy virtues is moral. Tim Elmore and Andrew McPeak, in their book Generation Z Unfiltered, summarize the attitudes of these two sets of values or selves. The resume virtues tend to be worldly, ambitious, innovative, curious about how things work, and focused on accomplishment and success. The eulogy virtues tend to be humble, good, strong, curious about why we are here, and focused on honoring others, love and redemption. 

In a world of standardized tests, social media posts, and a competitive global economy, it is easy to overemphasize those virtues that help get good grades, social media likes, and competitive job. As adults, we may unintentionally emphasize these virtues for Gen Z as we celebrate their resume virtues via our social media posts, and challenge or coach them regularly on school or work skills and accomplishments. Resume virtues are important, however, if they are overemphasized while eulogy virtues are underemphasized, we may find ourselves leading young people who lack internal motivation, a sense of moral direction, and empathy for others. 

Gen Z needs encouragement to think beyond resume virtues and consider eulogy virtues. As an individualistic generation, they need to be reflective and determine their personal values, something that does not often happen in our busy, noisy world. Elmore and McPeak offer several suggestions to consider as we encourage young people. First, have them write their own eulogy, identifying key values. Consider also writing yours and sharing it with the young person you are mentoring. Second, ask the young person to identify actions that reflect those values they have identified. Third, ask them to put the actions that have been identified into practice. Last, provide support and encouragement.

What are ways that you currently encourage and affirm resume values in the lives of young people? Eulogy values? What are additional ways you could encourage the development of eulogy values?

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Why Self Awareness is Important in Intergenerational Leadership

6/1/2021

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Self-awareness is critical for effective multigenerational teams and leadership. Without self-awareness, we may fail to understand how members of other generations are perceiving or relating to our words and actions.

Researcher Dr. Tasha Eurich discusses two types of self-awareness. The first is internal self-awareness. This relates to how we see our “own values, passions, aspirations, fit with our environment, reactions (including thoughts, feelings, behaviors, strengths, and weaknesses), and impact on others.” Dr. Eurich and her team discovered that internal self-awareness is “associated with higher job and relationship satisfaction, personal and social control, and happiness; it is negatively related to anxiety, stress, and depression.”

The second type of self-awareness identified by Dr. Eurich and her team is external self-awareness. This relates to understanding how other people view us, in terms of our values, passions, reactions and environment. Their research shows that people who know how others see them are more skilled at showing empathy and taking others’ perspectives.

Bradberry and Greaves, in their book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, define self-awareness as the “ability to accurately perceive your own emotions in the moment and understand your tendencies across situations.” 

There are several ways to increase our self-awareness. The first is to reflect more. Take time to think about your words, actions, and decisions. Consider how others respond, or where you could have be more effective. While reflection is likely to reveal some areas where we need to change and grow, self-awareness is also about understanding how we are wired, what motivates and affects us. When we know these things, we can make decisions and choose opportunities that minimize our potential to respond poorly and maximize the positive impact of our strengths, gifts, and interests.

A second step to increasing self-awareness is to take the time to understand ourselves better. Assessments, coaching, or journaling are a few tools that can help us with this.
 
A third strategy to increasing self-awareness is actively requesting feedback and receiving it with gratitude and not defensiveness. There are many formal and informal ways to solicit feedback. One of my favorite growth strategies is to have reverse mentors who are older and younger than me. By requesting and graciously receiving their honest feedback on my behaviors, attitudes, and interactions, I can gain a deeper understanding of myself and how others perceive me.
 
Bradberry and Greaves tell us that “self-awareness is a foundation skill; when you have it, self-awareness makes the other EQ skills much easier to use. As self-awareness increases, people’s satisfaction with life…skyrockets. Self-awareness is so important for job performance that 83 percent of people high in self-awareness are top performers.”
 
Consider your own level of internal and external self-awareness. Where do you have the need to grow in your understanding of yourself and others? How can you engage someone older or younger than you as you seek to grow in your self-awareness? 
​

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How to Encourage Spiritual Growth in Gen Z

5/6/2021

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James Emery White, in his book Meet Generation Z stated, “As the first truly post-Christian generation, and numerically the largest, Generation Z will be the most influential religious force in the West.”  Author Jonathan Morrow explained that Gen Z is growing up in a world that rejects a Christian worldview, but desires the world that has the characteristics that biblical principles allow to exist. In addition, young believers often lack the education and discipleship that allow them to understand how faith applies in real life. 

As America becomes increasingly post-Christian, church attendance and biblical literacy are on the decline. Data from the General Social Survey and the Pew Research Center corroborated a downward trend in church attendance in the U.S. “In the most recent GSS studies, 43% of respondents say they attend religious services at least monthly, down from 47% in the early 2000s and 50% in the early 1990s. Meanwhile, the share of U.S. adults who say they “never” attend religious services now stands at 27%, up from 18% in the early 2000s and roughly double the share who said this in the early 1990s (14%).” A LifeWay Research study found that only 45 percent of those who regularly attend church actually read the Bible more than once a week and almost one in five churchgoers say they never read the Bible. Barna reported, “Since 2009, Bible reading has become less widespread, especially among the youngest adults. Today, only one-third of all American adults report reading the Bible once a week or more. The percentage is highest among Elders (49%) and lowest among Millennials (24%).” As we seek to encourage young people in their faith, we must recognize that they may not possess a basic understanding of healthy spiritual growth. As a result, they need intentional training, encouragement, and mentoring. 

Even young believers with a strong faith, who desire to grow spiritually, often confront opposition to their faith that did not exist in our culture a couple of decades ago. David Kinnaman and Mark Matlock, in their book Faith for Exiles, contended that “today’s society is especially and insidiously faith repellent.” They reported that it is hard to grow resilient faith in this generation of young people growing up in a post-Christian culture. It is possible, however. Here are a few of the strategies we can employ as we seek to encourage spiritual growth in the lives of young people around us:
  • Demonstrate empathy for the unique challenges young people face as they seek to grow spiritually; take time to understand their perspectives and struggles.
  • Be prepared to support, encourage, and mentor them; take time to ask questions and listen.
  • Communicate belief and hope when interacting with them.
  • Model spiritual disciplines and authentic faith for them to see.
  • Pray faithfully for the young people in your life.

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Cancel Culture's Impact on Gen Z

2/28/2021

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I was recently presenting on Gen Z, discussing the impact of cancel culture on young people today. Someone in the audience asked what cancel culture is so thought I would talk about it briefly here. The Cambridge Dictionary defines it as: "a way of behaving in a society or group, especially on social media, in which it is common to completely reject and stop supporting someone because they have said or done something that offends you." 

While cancel culture is currently playing out in significant ways in our society as anyone from celebrities to CEOs can get "cancelled" for saying or doing something that is offensive to someone or a group of people, it is also a very real part of young people's personal lives. A 2019 New York Time's article, Tale's From the Teenage Cancel Culture, offered some powerful quotes from teenagers on the effects of cancel culture. Neelam, a 17-year-old explained, cancel culture is "a way to take away someone’s power and call out the individual for being problematic in a situation,” Neelam said. "I don’t think it’s being sensitive. I think it’s just having a sense of being observant and aware of what’s going on around you."

The article quotes another 17-year-old, Ben, who highlights one of the difficulties of cancel culture. He said, "people should be held accountable for their actions, whether they’re famous or not, but that canceling someone 'takes away the option for them to learn from their mistakes and kind of alienates them.'” The Cambridge Dictionary agreed that "the main argument against cancel culture is that it doesn't enable people who have wronged society the opportunity to apologize and learn from their mistakes." 

Young people today are often living in fear of saying or doing something, or associating with someone or something, that could get them cancelled. They can also struggle with understanding the power of unconditional love, repentance, forgiveness, restoration and redemption in a culture that simple cancels those who make mistakes or do something that is deemed inappropriate or offensive. 

As parents, leaders, and mentors, we need to model the reality that love, forgiveness, and restoration can exist in relationships. By providing relationships that are strong, safe, and supportive, we can help young people gain perspective and hope to live humbly, honestly, and confidently. 

For more on this topic, check out this month's episode of The Leading Tomorrow podcast. 

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Gen Z's Pursuit of Happiness

2/3/2021

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This month, we are celebrating the release of Daniel Generation in Spanish and Audiobook (English)! The print edition of the Spanish book is now available on our website. The Spanish ebook and English audiobook are coming later this month. Watch for updates! To celebrate, we are including an excerpt from the book below. Check out this month's The Leading Tomorrow Podcast wherever you listen to podcasts for more on Gen Z's pursuit of happiness! 

From Daniel Generation, chapter five: 
In 1985, 25 years before the iPad, NYU professor, Neil Postman wrote an insightful little book titled Amusing Ourselves to Death. In it, he discusses the power of technology to create a culture of “uninformed pleasure seekers.” He further explains how media has slowly infiltrated our culture resulting in the promotion of entertainment as the standard of truth. Postman discusses writer Aldous Huxley’s vision described in Brave New World. The book was published in 1932 and set in London in the year 2540. Huxley understood that no “Big Brother is required to deprive people…people will come to love their oppression, to adore the technologies that undo their capacities to think.” In Brave New World, Huxley depicts the reality of people controlled by their desire for pleasure, rather than by tyranny or pain. A century ago, Huxley feared that what we love, our need for pleasure, would ruin us.
 
Technology presents several real dangers for us today. First, is its highly addictive nature. Nicholas Kardaras, in his book Glow Kids, explains what he calls the “dopamine tickle.” “Dopamine is the feel-good neurotransmitter that’s the most critical element in the addiction process. When a person performs an action that satisfies a need or fulfills a desire, dopamine is released…into a cluster of nerve cells that are associated with pleasure and reward, also known as the brain’s pleasure center.” This triggers a signal to repeat the activity again.

Technology consistently provides a “dopamine” tickle. Simon Sinek discusses its addictive impact. “The youth of today want to do good…the problem is…they're all addicted to dopamine. We pretty much raised an entire generation addicted to the ding, buzz, beep or flash of their phone.” Text message and social media notifications give us the same dopamine reaction as gambling, drugs, and alcohol. In some cases, we can’t wait a few minutes to look at our phone. Playing video games, posting to social media, or watching YouTube videos can produce addictions if we fail to manage our actions and time.
 
Technology’s power includes its pervading influence. It guides our behaviors and perspectives by getting us to click on ads, buy things online, or read the articles fed to us. Technology today allows companies to track our every click and enables the constant barrage of personalized ads, products and information right to the device in our pocket or under our pillow. Daniel encountered a powerful program of training that sought to influence his loyalties and attention. He completed the training but controlled its power to inform or control him. We must do the same with technology. Technology provides us with valuable tools, but possesses the power to manipulate our time, attention, and loyalties. If we simply respond to, rather than manage, its influence in our lives we risk responding to the powerful dings, beeps, and flashes of our devices rather than to God. 

Reflection Questions: 
  • How do you experience the influence of technology in your life? How do you see it in the lives of those around you?
  • What strategies help you manage the impact of technology in your life?
  • How can you encourage young people around you to be wise as they engage with technology? 

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    Author

    Dr. Jolene Erlacher is a wife, mommy, author, speaker, college instructor and coffee drinker who is passionate about empowering the next generation of leaders for effective service!

    ​To view more articles by Jolene, visit sites below:
    MN Bridging the Gap
    Missio Alliance
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