Creating a Tech-Smart Family Culture

Research continues to link the overuse of technology to depression, attention issues, and poor social skills.  Many parents and grandparents I talk to feel overwhelmed by the powerful influence of technology in their families and homes.  Technology, if not managed, can impair our family's wellbeing.  One of our best defenses against devices controlling our time and relationships is to develop a culture in our homes that encourages healthy technology use.  So, how do we go about inspiring a tech-smart family?  Here are a few strategies and resources:   So, how do we go about inspiring a tech-smart family? Here are a few strategies and resources:  

• Create a family plan. This will look different depending on the personality and age of your kids and the needs of your family. In your plan, delineate when and how technology can be used. For example, at our house devices have accountability software and are not allowed in bedrooms. Everyone follows the plan, including mom and dad. Because our kids are young, they are not allowed to use devices without adult supervision, and they are limited to an average of an hour of screen time a day. The American Academy of Pediatrics is one resource that provides recommended time limits for different ages and has a family plan tool that can help you think through what is most important for your family. Common Sense Media also provides a wealth of resources for parents and teens to consider as you develop a family plan, including reviews of apps, tips for online safety and privacy, and screen time recommendations.   
• Make space for engagement. In his book, The Tech-Wise Family, Andy Crouch provides a challenge regarding the space in our homes and what it encourages and communicates. He says, “the best things to put in the center of our homes are engaging things – things that require attention, reward skill, and draw us together the way the hearth once did.”  He shares how in his home they have created a space for music, including instruments that draw their family together to play and sing. In our home, we have two spaces with maps, posters and whiteboards on the walls and games on the shelves that encourage us to talk, learn, explore and play together. Crouch challenges parents to “find the room where your family spends the most time and ruthlessly eliminate the things that ask little of you and develop little in you.” Instead, fill it with things that bring you together and foster conversation and growth. 
• Establish customs that create culture. Because of the addictive nature of our devices today, we must be intentional to create opportunities that facilitate memories and conversation and provide a foundation for strong relationships in our families. Otherwise, we will likely find ourselves together at dinner or on vacation, staring at our devices. In our family, we have found a few customs that have proven fun and constructive. Because of our work schedule, breakfast is our family meal. We have a shelf in our kitchen with books. While we eat, one of us reads something and we discuss it. Not only does this encourage good conversation, but also meaningful learning together. Our kids eagerly ask for a “story” when we sit down in the mornings. My speaking schedule results in our family covering about 8000 miles a year in our trusty minivan. So many hours in the car can prove tedious, but we have created a habit of keeping the first half of any trip screen free. This allows for reading, drawing, games, discussions regarding the places we pass, and the occasional sibling squabble to practice conflict resolution! We regularly visit state parks and museums along the way. Hiking and exploring together create shared memories and facilitate lively, device-free conversation. We also have the shared goal of visiting every NC state park and historic site before the kids leave for college. What does your family enjoy doing together? What are some fun customs you have or can create to build strong family relationships in this season of life?  

A healthy family culture is one of the best ways for kids to learn positive habits regarding technology use. It also helps them develop good relational skills, which contribute to confidence, happiness, and success. As parents, grandparents, caregivers and mentors, intentionality in our home and relationships is powerful as we model healthy life skills and teach them to our kids!   ​

Book Jolene to speak to your church, school, or community group on Tech-Smart Parenting or visit the Leading Tomorrow podcast  for more on this and related topics!  

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