One of my favorite quotes is from Maya Angelou: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

As we head into the holiday season, many of us will be spending quality time with family and friends. This is a chance to give the unforgettable gift of making those around us feel seen, heard, valued, and appreciated. Especially as we engage the young people in our lives, there is an opportunity to connect in ways that encourage them to persevere through struggles, anxieties, or disappointments. Many of them may just need to know that our family, our friendship, or our community is a place where they belong. Some may be feeling uncertain or scared and need encouragement to pursue a new opportunity or try something that feels daunting. I have found that sometimes even a short 10–15-minute conversation where someone feels heard and has a chance to process what they are thinking, can result in the encouragement and insight they need to take an important step.

The good news is that to have this type of impact, we do not need to possess extraordinary knowledge, experience, or expertise. We simply need to engage those around us with empathy, taking time to ask good questions, listen, and provide specific encouragement. However, this can be difficult because it can require intentionality and sacrifice.

Today, with the constant noise and distractions of social media, news feeds, podcasts, music and notifications, we often give things our partial attention. This can become a habit that inhibits our ability to listen fully to those with whom we are interacting.

Active listening requires sacrificing our desire to share our own thoughts and experiences, and discipline to ignore distractions and fully focus on the person in front of us. Here are a few other elements of active listening:

​• Ask good, open-ended questions.
• Focus your attention on the speaker. Make eye contact.
• Consider body language, facial expressions, tone, and emotions.
• Do not interrupt or assume a conclusion before the speaker has finished.
• Do not think about what you are going to say next.
• Listen to what they are saying and react without judgment.
• Reflect what you are hearing and ask clarifying questions.
• Provide specific encouragement and affirmation.
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Listening requires a lot of self-control as we prioritize the other person, their experience and feelings, and manage our own responses and reactions. However, the value of listening is significant. Businessman Nido Qubein offers a good reminder as we engage others this holiday season: “Listen twice as much as you talk, and others will hear twice as much of what you say.”

The demographics of the workplace are changing. The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics indicates that by 2031, Millennials and Gen Z will make up three fourths of the labor force in America, with Millennials currently the largest generational block in the workplace. As young employees begin their careers and new generations step into management and leadership roles, it is important to understand how to engage and motivate individuals across generations. 

Today, younger employees are more likely to want to interact with colleagues and leaders, to engage in discussion around important topics, and have permission to ask questions. Employees want to know they have a voice, that they belong and are valued in their organization. 

While fair compensation is important to all generations, younger employees are also motivated by their emotional needs being considered. Authentic relationships are important, as is understanding how different individual roles contribute to a greater purpose. 

Consider the following as you look to motivate different generations on your team:

• How does healthy dialogue occur regarding important topics and decisions? Are questions openly invited and engaged? Are there additional ways to do this on your team? 
• Do team members of all ages share thoughts and ideas with you, and the rest of the team? If not, consider how to intentionally communicate that everyone's voice and input are valued.  
• How does your team currently prioritize and communicate the value of authentic relationships and healthy team development? How could this be done more intentionally? 

Younger generations are growing up with unprecedented access to news, images, and information often portraying traumatic experiences and situations. In addition, they are connected 24/7 to friends and family members who may be struggling with trauma, mental health issues, or other concerns. The result is that many Gen Zers, in addition to experiencing trauma in their own lives, are coping with vicarious trauma. 
Vicarious or secondary trauma occurs when exposed to someone else's trauma--trauma you have not experienced yourself, but learned about from other people or sources. In the past, vicarious trauma was especially notable in professionals working in the medical field, counseling, social work, emergency services and similar fields. Today, however, the constant exposure to information can result in an increased risk of vicarious trauma for anyone, especially for young people who are still developing their understanding of the world, self awareness, and self management skills.

On this month's episode of The Leading Tomorrow podcast, I am joined by James LaLonde to discuss how we can help protect young people, and support them when they are experiencing the effects of vicarious trauma. Some of the strategies discussed include:

• Increasing our awareness and understanding of the young people in our lives
• Developing our own emotional intelligence (EQ) 
• Teaching young people skills to be self aware and alleviate stress
• Modeling healthy behaviors around technology use
• Encouraging professional help when needed
• Creating an environment in our homes, schools, and workplaces that promotes physical exercise, trying new activities, and developing healthy relationships

For more on this topic, consider reading one of the following resources: Childhood Disrupted by Nakazawa or The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. 

Much has been written about the increased mental health concerns facing Gen Z and Gen Alpha.  In addition, as I talk to employers and educators, I often hear how many young people today lack  the problem solving and critical thinking skills we saw in older generations at the same age. As we consider ways to support the health and growth of young people around us, we often overlook some of the best tools and opportunities at our disposal: fun and free play.
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Neil Postman wrote, “It is not conceivable that our culture will forget that it needs children; but it is halfway toward forgetting that children need childhood. Tim Elmore, in his book Marching Off the Map wrote that childhood as we have known it historically is disappearing, and that a strange paradox is emerging in young people as a result. We are witnessing the extinction of childlikeness and the extension of childishness.

The reality is that free, unstructured play builds skills and maturity. When young people can play without an adult to dictate every action and guideline, and provide every resource, they have to start relying on their own abilities to problem solve, find solutions, resolve conflict, and exercise creativity. Furthermore, when they achieve something on their own, whether it is building a fort, designing a new game, writing a song for fun, or creating a small business idea, the resulting sense of fulfillment produces intrinsic motivation that helps them overcome apathy.  When they encounter a complication and are able to overcome it, using their own skills and ideas, they gain confidence and resilience to face the next obstacle.

Fun activities that have no predetermined purpose allow young people to just explore, problem solve, and test their skills and ideas. Free play can also help decrease stress and anxiety by giving them time to just think and be. One of the best gifts we can give young people around us this summer is to model what it looks like to disconnect from our devices and step away from our structured task list and just have fun. Invite them to join you, or give them opportunities to do so themselves. If this is a skill they have never developed, they may need some help getting started, but it will be a skill they can benefit from the rest of their lives.

For more on free play, check out this article, or listen to the most recent episode of The Leading Tomorrow Podcast.

The oldest members of Gen Z (b. 1996-2010) are now young adults and many are looking for or starting new jobs. This is a generation that has carried smartphones in their back pocket since adolescence and they entered adulthood amid a pandemic. As a result, their expectations as they begin working with a team are often very different than previous generations.  Organizations and leaders that want to equip and retain young team members benefit from understanding and responding to their expectations and supporting their needs.  Dorsey and Villa's book, Zconomy: How Gen Z Will Change the Future of Business—and What to Do About It, offers some helpful insights on Gen Z in the workplace.

Here are a few quick ideas to consider as you onboard young team members:

• Connect before the first day of work; provide contact info for supervisor or mentor to help answer any questions.
• Introduce them to coworkers; have a team member or two take them out for coffee and give them tips on what to expect in their first few weeks.
• Communicate that you are happy they are there and that you care about them as an individual (consider a personalized gift on their desk like a favorite candy or coffee).
• Explain values of the organization and how their role contributes to the team’s mission (show values, don’t just tell).
• Offer a blend of short, video-based training courses and in-person interactions in the onboarding process (not a dense, printed training manual!).
• Pair with a colleague or mentor who can show them what job the looks like, answer questions, provide “insider” information, and offer support the first few months on the team. 

Gen Z employees bring creativity, pragmatism, and unique skills to the workplace. Effectively engaging them on your team and equipping them for success can help them make the greatest contribution.

Check on this month’s episode of The Leading Tomorrow podcast for more on effective ways to onboard new Gen Z team members.

More and more Millennials are stepping into leadership and management positions. In many cases, they are overseeing various generations. Their teams can include Generation Z, now entering the workforce as college graduates, to Boomers, who are sometimes the age of their parents or even grandparents. This age diversity produces challenges for even experienced managers. For Millennial managers, often navigating their first supervisory role, it can produce stress and uncertainty. Here are a few reminders for Millennial managers as you learn and grow as a leader: 

• Be a learner. In leadership positions, we often feel pressure to know it all and have all the answers. The reality is that no one really has it all figured out and acting like you do only undermines your credibility. If there are more experienced individuals on your team, ask them for their perspectives. Learn about the history of the organization and team. Seek to understand why things are the way they are before you begin to change them. This can help you avoid mistakes of the past.  
• Know your people. In today’s incredibly diverse workplaces, there is no one management style that is going to work for everyone. Take the time to get to know the individuals on your team. I highly recommend, when possible, having them do an assessment (ie. Enneagram, MBTI, StrengthsFinder, IPSAT) to learn more about how each of them approaches their work. Also, take time to talk with them individually, this can be a simple check-in occasionally, or regular weekly or monthly meetings. Look and listen for indicators of what they value (order, punctuality, quality time, words of affirmation, a gift) and make efforts to honor these values and communicate appreciation in ways that are meaningful to them.  
• Embrace failure. You are not going to do everything right. You are not going to make everyone happy. That is part of leadership. All of us fail, even after years of experience. What matters most is how we fail. Do we try to ignore our failure, blame others, or make excuses? These responses will undermine your leadership quickly. The best leaders acknowledge when they fail, they apologize when needed, and they learn from their mistakes. They embrace the potential for personal and professional growth in their failures. Good leaders seek out the resources and make the changes that enable them to avoid repeating mistakes. So, when you fail, don’t panic. Recognize it as an opportunity to demonstrate your character, model humility and integrity, and learn and grow. Your team will appreciate you for it!  

Healthy leadership requires incredible self-awareness, courage, and sacrifice. As a new manager or leader, you need support. Find a mentor or friend who can encourage you, help you process the situations you are navigating, and provide honest feedback. You’ve got this! 

Springtide Research Institute recently released their annual State of Religion and Young People report. The focus this year was on the mental health of young people ages 13 to 25. In this research study, 47% of young people say they are moderately or extremely depressed; 55% of young people say they are moderately or extremely anxious; and 57% of young people say they are moderately or extremely stressed. This study, like others, confirms that Gen Z is in the midst of a mental health crisis. So, what can we do to support them? 

In the report, Springtide identifies three important qualities to help support the mental health of young people in our organizations, churches, and teams: 

1). Connection. Strong connections result in a sense of belonging, and belonging correlates with mental wellness. Belonging often occurs when young people understand that they are noticed, valued, and known by the people around them. When we create environments, activities, and interactions that help facilitate meaningful connections and relationships, we help support mental wellbeing for young people around us.

2). Expectations. Expectations are the standards that young people feel they need to meet or exceed in order to be accepted. If expectations feel unachievable, unclear, or unfair, young people can become discouraged, and their mental health can suffer. Providing tools, mentoring, and encouragement can help young people navigate expectations in ways that result in success and fulfillment.

3). Purpose. Feeling connected to something or someone greater than oneself can create a sense of purpose that supports mental wellbeing. Sometimes young people need mentoring or coaching to help them connect what they are doing or their plans for the future to a greater purpose.

For more on how to support the mental health of Gen Zers in your life in 2023, check out this month's episode of The Leading Tomorrow Podcast, or get a copy of Springtide's most recent report.

Engaging multiple generations in any context can be challenging, but within established teams and organizations there can be unique barriers to effectively adapting to new expectations and needs. In these contexts, leaders need to be aware of their own mindsets toward younger employees, team members, and clients. It is also important to consider what assumptions we might be making that could result in confusion for those we are hoping to engage and equip. Steve Moore, President of Growing Leaders once said, “When institutional activities last more than one generation of leadership, the assumptions behind those activities become invisible to the current membership.” What is considered “self-evident” to most senior leaders may not be apparent to many new employees or participants. In this month's episode of The Leading Tomorrow Podcast, I talked with Doug Harrison, Director of Strategy and Innovation at Mission Aviation Fellowship. We identified several key mindsets and action steps critical for leaders and organizations in effectively engaging the next generation. These include the following: ​

1. Develop empathy. Seek to understand the perspectives and experiences that inform the values and views of younger generations. 
2. Lean into the future. If we are not excited about the future, we need to examine our own mindset about changes that are occurring and consider how to lean into the opportunities that exist for our teams, organizations, and the next generation.
3. Hold organizational structures with an open hand. Current generational, technological, and cultural trends consistently require teams and organizations to change and adapt. As leaders, we must be willing to reexamine our structures and strategies. 
4. Give the next gen a voice. Teams and organizations need innovative ideas, new perspectives, and disruptive insights to help us navigate today's complex world. Younger generations can bring those much needed questions and thoughts to generate creativity and innovation. Find ways to advocate for and engage the voice of younger people around you.